I Watched Judy Blume’s Movie Alone as a Perimenopausal Woman
I no longer need to increase my bust
When you have perimenopause, the last thing on your mind is increasing your bust size.
The first thing on your mind is not snapping at anyone who breathes on you within a millimeter of your vicinity.
At this point, the only way I have a mammary growth spurt is surgically, which is a no-go for me.
Thankfully, Margaret, the main character of Judy Blume’s book and much-anticipated movie “Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret” did not have breast augmentation. However, she was obsessed with transforming her molehills into mountains.
So, why would a perimenopausal woman without an eleven-year-old girl in tow watch Judy Blume’s movie?
Unfortunately, as a child of the 70s and 80s, I never read Judy Blume’s books. I wish I had.
The next best thing was watching her movie.
After watching the movie, which I enjoyed immensely, I drove home to write a post based on my original title, “Are You There, Universe? It’s Me, Lotus Empress”.
My initial angle was about the parallels between my spiritual journey later in life and Margaret’s inner conflict between two religions as her father is Jewish and her mother was disowned by her Christian parents.
However, as I was driving home, I felt an inexplicable urge to cry, and I did.
It was a wrenching cry from a woman who is now in perimenopause and realizes she never celebrated having a period in the first place.
As little girls in the 70s and 80s, we were not accurately informed on the emotional, mental, and physical aspects of getting our periods.
We were given a pad and had to figure it out for ourselves.
Margaret and her friends race to see who gets their period first.
The girls fervently chant “We must, we must, we must increase our bust” as they flap their arms, willing their bosom to magically sprout before their eyes.
My unexpected crying was the release of the pent-up emotion of being a woman in a society that rushes us to womanhood without the proper support but with all the expectations to shoulder everything that comes with it.
The day after a family argument involving the grandparents, Margaret sits on the couch with her mother Barbara who wearily says, “It’s tiring trying so hard all the time, isn’t it?”
As women in a patriarchal society, we are always trying so hard to bend over backward to accommodate everyone because we are conditioned to say yes, all the time.
Margaret’s mother attempted to fit into their new community in New Jersey by committing to numerous PTA events at her school.
We try so hard to fit in and be accepted. Ultimately all of it is just to be loved as we are.
The little girls are in a rush to get their period.
As women, we endure our periods for the rest of our lives with messaging that periods are not to be talked about.
In Florida, they recently passed a bill called “Don’t Say Period” that bans girls who receive their period before the sixth grade from talking and receiving education about it.
I am flabbergasted at such a monumental step back in women’s rights and education.
In addition, as women approach perimenopause and then menopause, words like “anti-aging” are thrown our way as if any of us could bypass that process.
It is a privilege and a great opportunity to experience the aging process because it means we are alive to live another day and to be with people we love as well as do the things we love.
From the time we get our period, we are hastened to grow up. Then when we are perceived as aging, we become invisible to society.
We are either revered for our youth or cast aside once our reproductive abilities cease.
I refuse to be typecasted and categorized like a dropdown menu because women are so much more than our age, roles, labels, responsibilities, and to-do list in life.
Women are like fine wine.
The more mature we get, the better we are as we enter the wise woman stage where we become more comfortable in our skin, and care less about what other people think of us.
We are Goddesses that birth leaders of nations, governments, companies, creators, builders, and the world. In addition, women shepherd them throughout life to their full potential.
At the same time, women have their unique talents, gifts, and superpowers that need to be celebrated. We have also birthed life-changing ideas, thoughts, inventions, books, industries, schools, and so much more to society that should be shared with the world.
For those of us in the wise woman stage, it is not the end of our womanhood, it is only the beginning of a new chapter in life where we are a powerful Divine Creator that can manifest anything we want because we deserve it!
Women are Badasses!
Dear Margaret,
Harness, nurture, and love your inner Goddess because that is who you are and will always be. Don’t ever let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Thank you so much for reading! Have a great day!
Lotus Empress I love this post! I did read all of Judy Blume's books back as a pre-teen and of course I tried the arm flapping. LOL! I like how you allude to our lack of ritual and tradition around the developmental stages of life. I think we've really lost something there. I also became enraged as you reminded me of what JUST HAPPENED in FL. I'm guessing as the DF revs up, so will the backlash. I foresee more attempts to subjugate woman through laws in our future. Sorry for ending on such a downer! That's why these spaces and all spaces must be inhabited by women who are living in accordance with our truths.